We have all been there: you lose two stone, get a drastic haircut and all of a sudden crying in public becomes your new favourite past time. The routines you have known turn to dust and you are left trying to decide what to do next. There are pressing matters at hand that need to be dealt with, like how to let the entire world know you are now single and how can you delete every trace of your no-longer-significant-other from your Instagram without looking bitter. Who deletes who first? Are you destine to die alone with cats? So many questions that you feel so unprepared for.
We all experience heart-ache at some point in our lives. Whether it’s during your teenage years or much later down the line, the truth is nobody is immune. It wasn’t until I experienced my first big break up that I realised just how hurtful one could be. I was shocked, disappointed and rejected.
But don’t fret; you’ll find companionship in others. These people aren’t necessarily new romances but often friends and family, the people who stand by you when you need them the most, but who you have next-to forgotten because you’ve been channelling your energy into the wrong person.
New routines will form more quickly than you anticipate and you’ll begin to feel settled again. I’ll admit that to begin with I spent an awful lot of my time trying to fill the new void in my life. My friends rallied around me so I wouldn’t have to spend Sundays on my own, as Sundays at home alone often ended with me crying in bed watching Netflix. But before I even noticed it had happened, I began to cherish those days by myself. I took the time to find out what made me happy, and it gave me an opportunity to be selfish.
In that initial period after a break up, a lot of us spend our time thinking of what we could have done that would have made things better. Although it is good to take a step back to evaluate our own behaviour, refrain from focusing on the “shoulda woulda coulda’s”. The past is the is past and no good can come from dwelling on things you can’t change because it will make you feel sad.
Don’t be too hard on yourself. Everybody has flaws and bad habits. Your worth isn’t defined by one person’s opinion on you.
Instead try and focus on the positives.
You’ll have time to love yourself again. Far too often when people get into relationships, they forget how important it is to make time for themselves. Having an ‘other half’ is all well and good, but you must not forget to focus on yourself. Do some of the stuff that makes you and only you happy; take up a hobby, learn how to cook.
So what does become of the broken hearted? They heal.